Friday, March 4, 2011

this space has been too quiet, the last post taunts me that i haven't been back. and yet, when i think, have tried, my mind draws blankly. i've written on paper with intentions to share, but that notebook was dropped in grease (no, i'm not kidding!). so it goes.
i still mentally count my blessings, wonder if it's enough.
avery, perched on edge of office chair, swings his feet back and forth, he simply enjoys the movement of his body; i smile at his enthusiasm. shea is reminding me every day with every sentence that i can't go wrong with attempting to homeschool him next year, for he's simply too excited to learn every day. connor's joie de vivre is infectious like this spring we're enjoying.
there are grey thoughts under the surface, too: we're here again, but he's so unhappy, and life has been hard. it's hard to stand wife against despair, and all i want is to wrap him up and fix, and both my hands are tied, though heart will never follow suit.
yes, this space has been come-and-go, hit-or-miss. i don't like being sporadic, but i want to be present in life, not just in words thought out. i know there are words to share, lessons to ponder, but i also need balancing with these tasks before me, especially these tiny ones.

6 comments:

Leslie said...

"...but he's so unhappy, and life has been hard."

i understand this longing to fix things, for these good men who work so hard to provide for us. we long to see them finding happiness in the toil of their hands, and so often the soil is filled with thorns. may you both have grace; may you and your little family be encompassed and upheld by His loving hands through all life's many seasons; may you find joy, even in the midst of the imperfect.

Bev said...

hi misty...just stopped by to say hi and i re-read your "who i am" today. you know, i can relate to a lot of it, your words are soothing salve.
let Him carry you...
xo

Ostriches Look Funny said...

it's so hard when the husband is unhappy. I'm sorry! :(

Sarah said...

It's so important to be present, and so hard when there's so much hurt. You're on my heart.

deb colarossi said...

Be gentle with yourself. Your life.
Trust.

and I find I can't be in the blog world when my life world is "off" .


and thank your for your beautiful words to me . they mean very much , Misty.

Bethany Ann said...

"i want to be present in life, not just in words thought out"... and this is your worship, dear one.