Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Storm

the bells from the church down the street hum "how great thou art" and the tea scalds my throat. it's too still this morning (that's how i can hear the bells at all), but only outside.

thoughts are cloudy, thrum against brain, try to drown out the bells or the message, i'm not sure which.

~~~

cats need feeding. dogs need letting out. two little ones awake, and the stormcloud in my head keeps threatening. mundane should be the antidote to get me through. it makes a heavy contrast.

~~~

milky tea sweetened with real sugar this morning in defiant protest. for whom? i sigh. feed animals. i realize sugar is not what i need right now, either. even sweetness can't sugarcoat angry pensiveness. the bells go quiet. i wish for them back.

~~~

i should be writing gratitude, or asking for humility, but the truth is i can't count right now and my heart hurts from being low. i want my heart to trust how great He is, even in a storm.

6 comments:

Leslie said...

And I am not angry today, just so sad. To be sick again, really sick, after only a week of feeling better. And a week before that of illness. And so it goes. So my heart is heavy, and I need prayer, and I'm glad for your honest writing, and I'm praying for your heart heaviness. Will you pray for mine? May He quiet our storms today.

alittlebitograce said...

*hugs* me too. sometimes the storm just seems too big that even trying to quiet my heart won't calm it. i am praying for you and for leslie.

deb said...

misty...

my heart goes out to you in this .

Nancy said...

Take heart, friend. His Spirit who knows you in your weakness, on your days when head is pounding, and is able to transform these groanings into prayer which cannot be uttered. I believe this for you today,

Manda said...

My heart hurts from being low too... and He is so good to tend to my weakness. Sending you hugs, sweet friend!
... and a bucket of love!

amy said...

oh i am praying for you my friend. your sorrow, so beautifully spilled out here, is touching, and i know He will lift you up and pull you out. you are beautiful, and He loves you.

Jesus, bless misty, wrap her up tight in Your loving arms until she feels your presence and love raining down on her...