Monday, November 1, 2010

Choosing life

time inches or sprints, and the telling is in graying hair and hands looking worn from so many dishes washed. it's also told in waist-swelling, and we're already done with the first third, and i can barely recall any first trimester troubles. i'm grateful, with three little ones to chase around.

time tells stories in first-times, and we saw that, too, last night, with the policeman and the dalmatian all eager and unbelieving for free candy. i found myself welling inside tears at how these little boys are growing up, doing firsts, and i have no stop over the time gone.

entering into a gratitude season, (for isn't every season filled with thanks?) i'm acutely aware of my lack of thanks in this space lately. i've been in a hard season, tainted with depression, and that's the time to proffer thanks, i know, but i didn't have words.

heart is still weary, but i'm reminded to NOT be weary of doing good, and i cling to hope, both in the restoration of self and a hope for a future different than the present. i still have so much to learn and to teach my boys, and that starts with joy and thanks. so today, i choose life.
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. ~ Deut. 30:19-20a.

continuing to count with ann and the rest of the gratitude community. she calls it the great elixir, and i think she's never more right.

holy experience



185. for one-third way there with relatively no discomfort or debilitating nausea
186. and continued ability to mama while husband is away
187. for provisions-so many!
188. for an OB i like
189. for excitement from family and friends
190. for family outing and candy-gathering
191. not just ours, but chance to see so many other families sharing
192. and this mama's heart happy to see her little ones so eager and polite
193. for the wonder of total strangers sharing in this tiniest way
194. and second-hand costumes bought almost last minute
195. for puppies and policemen and pumpkins!
196. for cooling weather and fall delights
197. for more time to play outside and friends to join us
198. for continued health of twin nieces and sister doing well
199. for husband's love and sacrifices for our family
200. and as ever, for the grace of heart-fog lifting, and the chance to choose life.

10 comments:

Jodi said...

Bless you, Misty. I so admire your strength.

Leslie said...

May November be filled with His grace, love, and blessings overflowing. Your sweet spirit is testament to His restoration.

alittlebitograce said...

i lifted up a little prayer for you just now, praying especially that the Sun would burn through this heart-fog. *hugs*

Sarah said...

Choose life . . . oh yes! May this only be the beginning for you, this month.

Nancy said...

Fighting your way through the fog in the giving of thanks. With Jodi. I admire you. I'm grateful for God's grace in your life.

Wandering On Purpose said...

What a lovely list. Praying for you - as I have been through many foggy seasons/times of (clinical)depression in my life.

GlowinGirl said...

Such a blessing to give thanks for. Congratulations!

May you cling to gratitude to bring you out of a troubling heart-season. I feel for you.

Julie said...

Looking for gifts is a busy Mama's me time! I love it.

suzannah {so much shouting, so much laughter} said...

thank you for this reminder, the choosing of life and thanks and praise.

do you know the enter the worship circle song, "a thankful heart prepares the way for you, my God"?

i needed to hear this. lifting you up in prayer before the throne of grace, sweet friend. let's connect soon!

deb said...

I so picture at the sink.
doing, being.

it's a beautiful image