listening to the Compassion group and their stories, seeing the photos, talking about the difference between physical and spiritual poverty, has been breaking open my idea of what it means to be bread, to feed His sheep:
will you be poured out like wine, upon the alter for Me?
will you be broken like bread, to feed the hungry?
would you be so one with Me that you would do just as I will?
would you be light and life and love, My will fulfilled?
and i consider the implications of "what would jesus do?" and what would daily sacrifice of myself mean? and to be so one with Him sounds so... holy, could i really do his will? but in all these, i know i can be light, i can show love, and i can offer life to those around me, starting with my babes at home and on to the grocer and the woman who seems cold to me at church. i've found myself interrupting rants with, "well, i suppose if i gave grace..." and i think i feel a burning inside of me.
i pray for brokenness and pourings-out, and i burn inside.
continuing to count, to choose to remember the thousand daily graces, the burning that propels me:
164. a phone call with a friend, many tears shed for a burden, and her kind, compassionate, christ-filled words of encouragement
165. reminding how much he loves us
166. and how he doles extravagant grace
167. how He answers prayers, even the seemingly small ones, and this one in particular so quickly... and with a smile we heard him!
168. for husband, though sick, still willing to work, to provide
169. for a week of plenty
170. playdates last week, buffering some of the loneliness
171. and bible study to start this week, praying to meet a friend.
172. for a soul-stirring i feel inside, revival of my own heart?
173. the joy that is family, breaking bread together